Bean Sprouts

Good Bye Updated....

2010-11-20T15:45:00.002-07:00

Family blog here:
http://matthewculton.blogspot.com/

Adoption blog here:
http://birthmomkatie.blogspot.com/

Good Bye

2010-11-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

I won't be posting here anymore, I started a family blog that keeps track of my little bean's life. If you want to join me there here is the link:

http://matthewculton.blogspot.com/

Jersey Memories

2010-09-23T15:54:00.001-06:00

As you may recall, Bean and I made a trip back to my home state of New Jersey this summer. Maybe I should finally post some pictures!!!

On our first full day in New Jersey we went to a party at one of my 2nd cousins houses. I met family members I never even knew I had, and others who I had heard lots about but never gotten to meet. It was such an amazingly fun day. Bean got to go swimming in a real pool for the first time, and he loved it....can't you tell! Although being the independent Bean he is, he didn't want to stay in that turtle for too long....he wanted to go out on his own....he didn't understand that if we let him go, he would sink right down to the bottom.

Most of our week was spent hanging out with my family at my Aunt's house. Gosh I love my family, they are the best. I've lived in Colorado for 14 years now (almost 15) and I'm still not used to being so far away, and only seeing them once a year. Bean had so much fun playing with his second cousins, and swimming in his baby pool, and playing with the hose....I'm sure he was disappointed when we came back home to our tiny little yard!

It's important to me that Bean has a relationship with his East Coast family. And it makes me sad to think that he won't be surrounded my cousins, and Great Grandparents and Aunts and Uncles like I was growing up. But, he will get lots of vacations back East, so he can grow up understanding that Jersey really is a great place, and not the armpit of the US like some people think!

We went to a local petting zoo on a very HOT day, and despite the temperatures, and the lack of a good night's sleep, Bean had a fantastic time!

They had chickens running all over the place, and Bean wanted to chase them....they didn't appreciate that! We got to feed lots of animals, but the baby camel and the giraffes were our favorites!

Look at those curls!! The Humidity did wonders for his hair!

The Shore was fantastic. It was definitely a different experience going with a toddler....I didn't get much time to relax and work on my tan. I thought Bean might be scared of the ocean, but he ran right to it, and cried every time we had to go back to our chairs! He was fantastic though, had a blast playing in the sand, playing with his cousins and watching the seagulls.

He was zonked before we even had all the sandy chairs back into the trunk!

Neck Pains, Muscle Relaxers and Sleeping On The Stairs.

2010-09-17T10:37:00.000-06:00

I feel like I need a neck brace....this is terrible. About a month ago I started getting headaches, every single day between 3:30 and 4:00 PM. They started with a dull ache in my neck and slowly moved up into my head and resulted in a massive migraine. I've been living on Excedrin for the last few weeks. Then my neck starting getting stiff and sore. I woke up on Monday barely able to move, I can't move my head side to side or up and down without having to move my entire upper body. So I gave in, and made a Dr. appointment. They sent me for x-rays yesterday, they aren't sure what is going on. In the mean time, while I wait for them to review the x-rays and get back to me I was told to take advil, use hot or cold compresses and they gave me a prescription for muscle relaxers.

So last night, I put the Bean down for bed, got a glass of water and took my muscle relaxers. I then went down into the basement/man cave. I was sitting on the couch folding laundry and waiting for my last load to be done in the dryer. I could barely keep my eyes open all of a sudden, so I said screw the laundry, time for bed. I made it from the basement to the main level, then I looked at all the stairs I had to climb to make it to the top floor and my comfy bed. It was a long way to go (when your drugged up on muscle relaxers). I made it 1/2 way up and decided I needed to take a rest.....4 hours later I woke up very confused.....still on the stairs. Yup, sleeping on the stairs is not a good idea when you already have neck pain. Needless to say I feel even worse today, but at least I got a good night's sleep.

Where Were You....

2010-09-11T05:00:00.032-06:00

By Alan Jackson:

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day

Out in the yard with your wife and children
Working on some stage in LA

Did you stand there in shock at the site of

That black smoke rising against that blue sky

Did you shout out in anger

In fear for your neighbor

Or did you just sit down and cry

Did you weep for the children

Who lost their dear loved ones

And pray for the ones who don't know

Did you rejoice for the people who walked from the rubble

And sob for the ones left below

Did you burst out in pride
For the red white and blue
The heroes who died just doing what they do
Did you look up to heaven for some kind of answer
And look at yourself to what really matters

I'm just a singer of simple songs

I'm not a real political man

I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you

The difference in Iraq and Iran

But I know Jesus and I talk to God
And I remember this from when I was young
Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us
And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day
Teaching a class full of innocent children
Driving down some cold interstate
Did you feel guilty cause you're a survivor
In a crowded room did you feel alone

Did you call up your mother and tell her you love her

Did you dust off that bible at home

Did you open your eyes and hope it never happened

Close your eyes and not go to sleep

Did you notice the sunset the first time in ages

Speak with some stranger on the street

Did you lay down at night and think of tomorrow

Go out and buy you a gun

Did you turn off that violent old movie you're watching

And turn on "I Love Lucy" reruns

Did you go to a church and hold hands with some stranger
Stand in line and give your own blood
Did you just stay home and cling tight to your family
Thank God you had somebody to love

I'm just a singer of simple songs

I'm not a real political man

I watch CNN but I'm not sure I can tell you

The difference in Iraq and Iran

But I know Jesus and I talk to God

And I remember this from when I was young

Faith hope and love are some good things he gave us

And the greatest is love

Where were you when the world stopped turning that September day

For a complete list of all those lost in the attacks on September 11, 2001 please click HERE

Please hold your families a little closer tonight, please pray for those who are fighting for us and our freedoms right now, and please pray for those of us who lost friends and family in these terrorist attacks.

Never Forget

It's Friday, and I'm not so fat!

2010-09-10T12:49:00.000-06:00

It's Friday!!!! I love Fridays, I love knowing that tomorrow I will be woken up by my beautiful little mean yelling out for his Mom instead of my pesky alarm clock, I love that we will snuggle on the couch watching Bob The Builder in our PJ's eating pancakes, I love knowing we will head to the park, and have a picnic lunch, and I love knowing that I get to spend an entire weekend with my bean.

And guess what, I'm not so fat! Another think I love about Fridays - Jean Day at Work!!!! And I fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans for the first time today.....woo hoo :)

On a more serious note....

Tomorrow is September 11th. What a hard day for me. Bean and I will wear our Red White and Blue, we will snuggle each other and be reminded of how lucky we are to have our family members with us, we will cry for those who aren't with us, and we will participate in multiple moments of silence, for when the first plane hit, and the second, when tower 1 collapsed, when the 2nd did, when flight 93 crashed, and when the Pentagon was hit. 9/11/01 was a very hard day for me, if you remember I grew up in New Jersey, which isn't not far from NYC......we lost many good men and women that day, and my heart will forever be broken. C joined the Marine Corp when he was 17 because of the events that he saw that day. He served two tours in Iraq, and thankfully came home safe.....many haven't though. And I can't speak for the rest of the country, but in this household...we will never forget.

Happy Friday everyone!

I'm Broke + Christmas is coming = help!

2010-09-09T15:39:00.000-06:00

Money is tight. The Economy sucks, I know I'm not the only one feeling it right now. But it's already September, and I'm going to blink and October will be here, which means I need to get moving on Christmas Shopping. I'm cutting back big time this year, I have no choice, and that makes me sad. I know Christmas isn't all about the gifts, but I LOVE LOVE LOVE buying presents for other people. I love going out, spending time looking for that special gift that will be just perfect for someone. Christmas is my favorite holiday for that reason alone. I don't care if I get anything, but seeing C's face light up when he opens a gift that he wasn't expecting, but yet it's the asbolute perfect gift for him....what could be better? Well watching Bean's face light up this year will be better then that, I'm sure of it. He didn't know what was going on last year, this year he will be EXCITED!

So I have a question, where do you shop and get the best deals for the Holidays? I keep hearing about Swagbucks....

so I went ahead and signed up, after only a week I had enough for two $5.00 gift cards, so thats pretty cool, every little bit helps! But I know that isn't going to pay for all my Holiday Shopping. So what are your favorite stores to get a bargain at???

Back to the Real World....

2010-09-07T09:03:00.000-06:00

What a fantastic long weekend we had!

Saturday I headed down to the Outlet Mall hoping to find a few good deals for Bean's winter wardobe....$70 later, and I got almost everything I need (Plus a stop at Goodwill got me a brand new snow suit for the bean, tags still on it, for 99 cents!) I couldn't beleive the fantastic deals I got. And Mama got something for herself too, a beautiful Lucky Brand shirt (originally $70) for $10!!

We spent the rest of the weekend playing at numerous parks, closing out the summer season with a fun afternoon at the splash park,hanging out with my Mom and brother, and a fantastic Labor Day weekend at Little Monkey Bizness.

Getting back to work today was hard, I wish I could stay home with my little Bean every day.....if only I could win the Powerball already!!

I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend, and hopefully this short work week flies by!

2010-08-25T15:13:00.000-06:00

The whole reason I started this blog was to get things off my chest, but yet I find myself still holding back.
Some of you may remember my post from back in June, I really knocked my wall down for that one, but apparently I've rebuilt.

I've been in a funk lately, and I can't kick it. My daughter is 7 years old, she started 2nd grade yesterday. In seven years I've only seen her a handful of times, and it sucks. She has a wonderful life, and wonderful parents, and I've been able to remain a part of her life. But it still sucks. I don't regret my decision, I know I did the best thing I could have possible done for her, but it still sucks. Sometimes I look at Bean and just want to cry, it seems to be happening more and more lately. He is at such a fun age now, he is learning to talk, and learning right from wrong, and he loves me and C so much. When I get home from work every day he greets me with a huge smile and a big wet kiss. And tears well up in my eyes, I am so happy and so blessed to have such an amazing son. But then my thoughts turn towards my daughter, I missed this with her, and I can't get it back. I don't think it will ever stop hurting. I love that little girl with all my heart, and I may have been able to physically let go of her, but emotionally I never will.

Being a Birth Mother is such a roller coaster, and even when you are completely at peace with your decision you still have bad days, and your heart still aches, and you still hold back tears in the middle of the day at work when she crosses your mind. She defines me, I am a Birth Mother and I always will be. And if it wasn't for her I wouldn't be where I am today and I am thankful for that. BUT, it still sucks.

"Adoption is not a breaking of trust but a keeping of faith… not the abandonment of a baby but an abandonment of self for a baby’s sake.”"

I'm back

2010-08-25T10:48:00.000-06:00

Hello Blog World, I'm back.
Sorry for going MIA, had a few things going on and needed time to re-group.

The Bean and I made our trip back home to Jersey, and it was fantastic! Getting there, and getting home weren't so great, but the vacation itself was. I was really nervous to fly, by myself with all that crap, and baby; I thought it would be hellish. And it was! NEVER AGAIN! But we survived (barely). The flight home was a little worse, Plane was delayed, some rude guy cut me off in line at the Service Counter so I threw a spoon at his head....yeah it wasn't my finest moment.

C and I went away last weekend as well, he planned a surprise trip for me! I have some fantastic photos from both trips, I'll share with you all soon!

I hope everyone is doing well, photos to follow shortly, I promise!

MIA

2010-07-30T15:27:00.002-06:00

I've been MIA.....lots of stuff going on in life right now....I'll be back though.

I need some coffee....

2010-07-20T09:01:00.000-06:00

C had off work last night, so he decided to keep the Bean home from Day Care so they could have some good Daddy/Bean time today. I got up nice and early, got ready and out the door in record time since I didn't have to get Bean up and dressed and fed. I got to work 30 minutes early today! I have to admit it was nice just getting myself ready in the AM for once.....but I hate days like this, I didn't get to see my Bean this morning, I always get to give him kisses before work.
At least my boys are having fun today :)

Since I got here early, I think I deserve a nice coffee break, where I can relax and put my feet up.....this picture is for you JennWren!

Facebook Saves the Day!

2010-07-19T09:11:00.000-06:00

This morning I was running late as usual. Monday is not a good day for us. I finally got us all packed up and ready to go. Get in the car, drive to the ATM to get out money to pay our Day Care Gal, and my debit card is no where to be found. So I drive back home, unload Bean and TEAR apart the house. No debit card, and no license. So I grab the little bit of cash I have, and give her 40 bucks, promising that C will pay her the rest this afternoon. Thankfully she was really understanding.

On the drive to work I was freaking out, what did I do with my license and debit card? I tore apart my car when I got to work, and still found nothing. My purse got stolen last year, and it was such a hassle to dispute all the charges that were illegally made using my card, and getting a new license can take up to 6 weeks....and I leave for vacation in less the 6 weeks.....can't fly without an ID. I get to work, clock in and listen to my voicemail. I had a message from the Greenwood Village Police Department.....someone found my debit card and license and turned them into the Police. I called them back, and thanked them and asked if they had contact information for the woman who turned them in, I'd like to pass my thanks along to them. Then I asked them how they got my work number. Well they Facebooked me, and saw the company I work for on my Facebook, and then googled the company to get my number. So Facebook saved the day! Now I have to leave work early to go pick up my stuff.....but thanks to that wonderful honest woman, it saved me from a big mess!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-14T09:08:00.002-06:00

Ha Ha, makes me laugh everytime I see it!

Hope everyone is having a great week!

Hey Moms, I need some advice!

2010-07-12T08:33:00.000-06:00

As you all know from my last blog post we are flying back to Jersey in August. I'm super nervous about this flight with the Bean all by myself. Last year we flew to Jersey and then flew to Chicago, and it went just fine. But C was with me both trips, and the bean was still a tiny little guy, so he slept the whole time. Now I have a very active and loud 1 year old to fly with. Help! Any advice? I just don't want him to scream on the flight, I'm worried he will get angry that he can't move around. He doesn't have a long attention span so I'm not sure what toys or activities to bring for the flight. Any suggestions?

Also, it will be our first trip to the beach. Do I need to invest in one of those beach tents to keep him shaded? Or is it a waste for a 1 year old?

Thanks Mommas!

29 Days....

2010-07-07T09:40:00.000-06:00

29 days until I get to go home.....

I moved to Colorado when I was 10 years old, so I have officially lived here longer then I lived in Jersey. BUT it doesn't matter how many years I spend here, I will always be a Jersey Girl. People think Jersey is a dirty gross state, but it is beautiful! Yeah, North Jersey is pretty crappy.....but every state has a section of town that they aren't proud of.

I'm from a town called Yardville, more central Jersey, and I love it there. We lived in a old farm house, on an old sweet potato farm. Just down the street you can find the Middleton house which was part of the Underground Railroad. The Yardville Inn has bullet holes in the wall due to Tom Thumb and Annie Oakley having a shoot out years and years ago. And the next town over, in the Friends Meeting House, there is a cannon ball lodged in the wall from the Revolutionary war. I mean come on, how cool is that? It's no wonder I love American History so much, I didn't read about it in books, I actually went and saw it!

The Bean and I head back in August, and I can not wait. Unfortunately C wont' be able to come with me this year, and I'm super nervous about flying by myself with the Bean....so please pray for us!

I just can't wait to be surrounded by my family, who I love so very much. I can't wait for the Bean to get to play with his 2nd cousins, and see his Great Grandmother :). I can't wait to eat the delicious food and bring Bean to the Shore....his first trip to the ocean! Oh it will be amazing....

Pictures from last year's visit.....

Some of my Family, who I love so so much, and I miss terribly

My Nanny Peg and the tiny little Bean, she is the most amazing woman I have ever known.

Happy 4th!

2010-07-02T12:11:00.000-06:00

I will be away from a computer for the next few days enjoying some much needed quality family time.
I hope everyone has a wonderful 4th of July.

I love the 4th of July. I'm so very proud to be an American, and it makes my heart want to explode with pride to see all the Red White and Blue over this holiday weekend.

And a big thank you to all those men and women who will be away from their family as we all celebrate this weekend. Those brave men and women who are out fighting for our country, and for the family and friends who are missing the ones they love this weekend. And for our Veterans, the ones who gave up years of their lives to fight for our country, and for those that didn't make it home. And a special thanks to my Veteran, C. I thank the lord every day that you made it home, I couldn't imagine life without you in it. I love you.

Be safe everyone!

Wordless Wednesdays

2010-06-30T08:25:00.000-06:00

His new favorite thing....reading!

Are you participating in Wordless Wednesday?

Link up here

Meet Me on Monday!

2010-06-28T08:54:00.001-06:00

I thought I'd join in on Meet Me on Monday, so here it goes!

1. Are you a collector of anything?

I used to collect shells, but after about 50 million moves from one apartment to the next during my single years, most of them ended up breaking. So now I collect shoes :) That counts right????

2. Do you have any tattoos or piercings?

No tattoos, I'm deathly afraid of needles. I do have my ears pierced though.....I finally gave in and got them pierced when I was 18....sad isn't it?

3. What is your favorite salad dressing?

Ranch. I LOVE Ranch. I will eat anything if its covered in Ranch! Ranch is more then just a salad dressing, it's an every day staple!

4. What was the last thing that you ate?

White Chocolate Strawberry yogurt for breakfast!

5. What was the last movie that you saw?

Jersey Girl! Not that crappy Liv Tyler one, but the 1992 with Dean McDermott. LOVE that movie. I think it is one of the best out there, maybe I'm bias since I'm a Jersey Girl though?

Want to join in on Meet Me Monday? Post your answers and link up here:

And Thanks to Never Growing Old for starting Meet Me Mondays!

Guilty Momma = Happy Bean

2010-06-25T14:45:00.003-06:00

We have a town home so we don't have a real back yard. We have a deck and a small "yard". I always feel guilty that the Bean doesn't have a lot of room to run and play. Thankfully we have a park just down the street, so we go there often. But I wanted him to be able to spend a lot of time outside, so I decided to buy him a fun outdoor toy! I used some of his Birthday money to buy the Little Tikes Backyard Barbeque. It was small, and still left us lots of room, great solution right!

He loves the grill! It's so cute to watch him "grill" some food while Daddy is also outside grilling. He also likes to try to crawl into the cabinet underneath which is pretty entertaining. But the kid needs more then one outside toy right? C told me not to, but I went to Babies R Us one Saturday anyways, just for diapers of course, and came home with just one more toy......

The Step 2 Arctic Splash Table! I was so excited, I woke Bean up from his nap early to play with it. He loves water, so naturally he loved this new toy! He spends hours playing with this table, while I get to work on my tan. It's a win win situation here!

He also likes to take apart the "Arctic Mountain" and throw it at Mommy's head sometimes. That part I don't enjoy so much.

So now the guilt I was feeling because he doesn't have a big yard should disappear right? Nope!

C had off work last night, so I knew he was probably just lounging around the house being lazy. So the nice wifey that I am decided to call him at 9 AM and tell him that he MUST go find a baby pool right away, and that he isn't allowed back home without one.

Well guess what....we now have a baby pool.

And I got bored at lunch, so I bought a sand box!

So now the small backyard we have, is completely filled with baby toys (or at least will be once I get home). C will probably be standing in the sand box while grilling from now on, but who cares, as long as the Bean is happy!

Who I really am.....

2010-06-24T09:11:00.000-06:00

Anyone who visits my Blog knows I have a son, who we call Bean. But, what most people don't know is that I've actually been a Mother for 7 years now....not a traditional mother, but a Birth Mother. I'm always hesitant to tell my story to people who don't know me well, I'm always afraid they will judge. But I don't care anymore, I'm happy with who I am, and the decision I made and that is all that matters.

When I was 16 I fell in love.....and after a few months of dating I decided I was adult enough to take it to the next level....and I ended up getting pregnant. 16 and pregnant, not exactly the ideal situation. For me at that moment in my life Abortion just wasn't an option for me, so that meant I was going to become a Mother. My boyfriend and I visited a place called Options Pregnancy Center, we spent a long time there just talking....and as we were leaving they gave me a list of local adoption agencies. I got home, and gave the list to my Mom and went to work. She wanted me to chose adoption, but I didn't. How could I have this baby growing in me for 9 long months and they just say goodbye and never see her or him again? Not happening!

My Mom decided to go ahead and call the adoption agencies anyways, she went down the list and got voice mail after voicemail....until someone finally picked up the phone. She scheduled a meeting with the adoption counselor Pam, and drug me along. Pam was the nicest woman I had ever met, but I hated her. I didn't want to be at that meeting, I didn't want to even think about adoption, and I was really angry at my Mother for making me go. After the meeting Pam asked if we could meet for lunch in a few weeks, I agreed, only because she was so nice and I felt guilty saying no. That lunch was great, and the lunch the week after, and the week after that, I realized that Pam wasn't trying to convince me to give away my child, just offering her friendship, guidance and support. She spoke about all the options I had, Abortion, Adoption and Parenting. After many many of these lunch meetings, I decided to talk to my boyfriend about adoption. I finally convinced him to come along with me to meet Pam, she explained to him how open adoptions work, how we can pick the parents, and still have contact with our child. We both thought this could be the right option, but how can you be sure? The next few months were full of ups and downs. We found out that I was having a little girl, we got to see her beautiful little outline on the ultrasound, WOW what an amazing moment that was. My 17th birthday came and went, strange to celebrate that birthday Pregnant. I was a Senior in High School, so I dealt with the day to day crap at school, and the nasty girls who started lots of rumors, but I didn't care anymore. Why should I care what they think, I'm doing this for me and my baby, not for them. At the end of February we decided to meet with a family, we had seem their profile and something about them just spoke to us. I have never been so nervous in my whole life. But, they were amazing! So kind and funny and they wanted an open adoption. They had already adopted a little girl, she was 4 at the time. And at this meeting she told me all about her Birth Parents, and the amazing life she has with her adoptive parents. I was sold. I loved my daughter so much, and wanted her to have an amazing life, a life that I couldn't give her at 17.

The night of my Senior Prom, April 25, 2003 I was laying in bed wishing I was at prom with all my friends when my water broke. 17 hours later on April 26 my beautiful daugther Rebecca was born. We spent two amazing days in the hospital with her before having to say good bye. It was, by far, the hardest moment of my life.

Fast forward to today, 7 years later....I think about my daughter every day. The last 7 years have been a struggle. But I'm comforted knowing she has such an amazing life, a life I wasn't able to give her at 17, and even better I still get to be a part of her life! And we have a great relationship. I'm friends with her parents on Facebook,we e-mail all the time, and just 2 weeks ago C, the Bean and I all drove up to the town where she lives for her dance recital. It was her first time meeting C and the Bean. I now have a picture of me with my 2 children.....what more could I ask for? A very selfless decision at a young age, which in turn created such a happy ending for so many. I love you J, with all my heart, and I always will!

So fellow bloggers, now you know who I really am.

Me Pregnant with my beautiful little girl at 17 years old....

She was such a beautiful baby!

Wordless Wednesday

2010-06-23T09:43:00.001-06:00

Driving downtown for work every day stinks....but being downtown offers some rewards....like having your boss snag some last minute seats to the game, and getting paid to drink beer and watch baseball!

Southwest Airlines ....grrrr

2010-06-22T09:56:00.000-06:00

I live in Colorado, but I grew up in New Jersey. Every summer I go back for a week to visit my family, and to eat lots of yummy food, and relax on the beach. It's almost July and I still don't have tickets for this summer. Due to some personal issues I haven't been able to even start thinking about my trip until now. I went to Southwest's website and started playing around. Their website sucks, its so deceiving. If you go to the Low Fare Calendar you see some pretty decent prices, but then you click on the date and there is only 1 flight with the price and it has a lay over, or departs at some crappy time. Their website used to be so much more user friendly....I finally settle on dates, and agree to pay a ridiculous amount of money for my flight, and click the next button, and I get an error. Son of a gun....try again...same error.....try again....same error. I call their Customer Service line, wait on hold for a long time, finally speak to someone and they say oh well that price was online only so we can't get you the same deal. WHAT! Your site isn't working, that's not my fault! GRRR
So here I am still without a plane ticket, and by time their damn website starts working the prices will have probably gone up. I wish there was another affordable airline that flies from Denver to Philly or Newark.....

When tough little boys grow up to be Dads, they turn into big babies again.....

2010-06-21T10:26:00.000-06:00

Have you ever heard the song Tough Little Boys? It always makes me think of my macho Man, lets refer to him as "C" on this blog. (Lyrics are here)

The Chorus goes: But when tough little boys grow up to be dads

They turn into big babies again.....that's my man all the way. He is tough, an ex-marine, has tattoos, likes motorcycles, drives a big (and I mean big) truck, would never be caught dead wearing pink, refuses to hold my purse, I even had to buy him a special "manly" diaper bag! But then you catch a moment like this....

And you realize he is just a big old softy beneath that hard shell!

(sorry for the poor quality, I snapped this on my camera)

2010-06-18T09:43:00.002-06:00

I never update this blog....It's not that I don't want to, it's that I don't seem to have the time.

I wake up, get ready, get the Bean up and ready, off to day care, off to work, sit in traffic, make dinner, play, give Bean a bath, sleepy time, then start all over.
I'm tired, and bored. Life seems so blah lately, same boring routine every single day. So I'm going to try to switch things up. There isn't much I can do about the work schedule, but starting tonight (Friday wooo hooo) things are a changing. I'll still cook dinner, after all the men of the house must eat, but then we are going to the park to play. I don't care if there are dishes in the sink, or laundry that needs to be folded, or toys scattered across the whole house. It will all be there tomorrow. This weekend we are going out, going somewhere new. I have no idea where, but I will figure it out, maybe a new park that we haven't been to, or the petting zoo, or the splash park....but out! The Momma needs a break from the same old routine, and I'm sure the Bean does too. So this weekend I just don't care if the house gets cleaned, as long as my Bean is happy....that is ALL that matters.

Oh, and I guess we will celebrate Father's Day on Sunday......boy that sure does put a cramp in my style this weekend (Kidding!)

What are your plans for Father's Day? I have no idea, I'm guessing being lazy, and eventually grilling up some steaks or ribs. It's funny, on Mother's Day I like to go OUT to eat....but Men like to actually stay home and cook. Why don't they have that desire every night?

Happy Friday everyone!

P.S. Time for some fun outside toys for the Bean, what is your favorite outside toy for your little one?

Almost Christmas!

2009-12-22T14:21:00.004-07:00

It's almost Christmas, I'm counting down, I can't wait! I haven't been this excited for Christmas since I was a child, who knew being a Mom would make Christmas this much fun? I can't wait for Bean to open all his gifts. I know he is young, and won't understand what’s going on, but he will still be excited to see new toys! I did really well with gifts this year; I think everyone will be surprised and happy with what I got for them. I even broke down and got Clayton the golf clubs he so desperately wants, even though I'm pretty sure they will just sit around collecting dust.

We got our first Christmas present today; a total surprise. Clayton just called me at work to inform me we had a brand new kind sized bed delivered. Huh? I didn't order that. Apparently his Mom did! I can't wait to go home and crawl into our new bed, finally a night of sleep without him kicking/rolling over onto me/using my head as a pillow.

So my question to you, what was your favorite Christmas gift you have ever received? Or your worst gift?

Merry Christmas everyone!

life and such

2009-12-10T13:51:00.004-07:00

Everyday on my wonderful drive home from work, I sit in rush hour traffic thinking about what I should write on my blog. I come up with some good stuff, pretty funny stories, because my life is quite comical. But then by time I get home, see Clayton, take care of Matthew, eat, bathe Bean and myself, and get Bean to bed I have no energy to even turn the computer on. If only someone could just listen to my thoughts on my drive home from work, and then post them for me?

So who doesn't have their Christmas tree yet? I feel like I'm the only one, we are supposed to get our tree this weekend, and I'm not looking forward to it. I have visions of Bean attacking the tree and trying to eat each and every needle that falls off. How do I keep him away? Any suggestions?

I need some help from Momma's out there. I feel like Bean is falling behind, according to 1 website I found he should be eating "adult" food cut into tiny pieces and using a sippy cup. He does neither and he is almost 8 months old. Am I screwing him up? Help!

So for the 1 or 2 people out there who MAY read my blog....here is a picture from Halloween, I can't help it, he's just too cute not to share.

Get money by searching the internet!

2009-11-12T09:01:00.004-07:00

If you haven't heard about Swagbucks yet, you are missing out. Instead of Google, use Swagbucks, you accumulate points and get prizes. And not crappy prizes either. I've only been signed up for about a month and I've gotten 6 $5.00 Amazon Gift Cards! Not bad for a month, and only logging in every couple of days for a few searches. That will help with Christmas gifts for sure!

IF you are interested, sign up here:
http://www.swagbucks.com/refer/BeanSprouts

Time Flies

2009-08-04T13:14:00.004-06:00

WOW! I can't believe it, but 1 year ago today I found out I was pregnant.

What an amazing year it has been :)

Men....

2009-08-03T11:46:00.003-06:00

I just don't know what is wrong with Clayton. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but sometimes I want to hit him in the head with a frying pan.

First, he has this disease....telivisionitis. It doesn't matter WHAT is on TV, he is so sucked into it, he doesn't hear me talking, doesn't notice anything going on around him. So on Friday, the gal who watches Matthew couldn't do it, as her son is having surgery. No biggie, Clayton took off Thursday night instead of Wednesday so he could watch Bean on Friday. So Thursday night I told him that he isn't allowed to put the TV on all day on Friday because I'm worried he won't notice if Matthew cries, spits up, gets up and starts walking (haha) and he got very offended. So we are in in a heated discussion about it....not a fight I promise....and in the middle of this discussion, there he goes....head straight to the TV. He doesn't even know he's doing it. I scream SEEEEE WHAT I MEAN. He turns his head back, shocked...he really didn't know he does this all the time. He has that "oh crap" look on his face. So I look at the TV to see what could possibly be more important then discussing the possibility of our son being neglected because some "super cool fighting/beer drinking movie" is on tv.......and guess what was on.....not wrestling, not a sports game, not even spongebob. TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL!!! I almost peed my pants laughing. I mean come on, my big manly, tattooed, Marine boyfriend....getting sucked into that show! He was very embarrassed, and turned off the TV.

Thankfully Bean made it through the day with Daddy....he still isn't cured, and I'm sure I'll smack him upside the head at least a few times tonight for neglecting me...but I don't think I will ever let him live down the Touched By An Angel incident.

Fave Fridays

2009-07-31T11:05:00.004-06:00

Happy Friday everyone!
Fave Friday:

1- White Chocolate-
I could eat it all day every day....especially white chocolate
covered strawberries and pretzals
2- My Grandma -
Miss her so much, I only get to see her once a year, but I talk to
her pretty much everyday!
3- www.recipezaar.com -
I love to cook, but hate putting all this work into a recipe
that doesn't end up working! This website lets other users rate, review and give
suggestions....love it.
4- http://www.etsy.com/view_listing.php?listing_id=27048169 -
my new favorite store
I just recieved my adorable ring, with Bean's name and birthdate on it.
5- Fridays-
one step closer to the weekend!

Want to Participate in Fave Fridays?

Click Here:

Working Momma

2009-07-30T09:36:00.005-06:00

I've been back to work now for about 4 weeks. My first day back I dropped Matthew off with the sitter with a huge list of instructions, things I had already gone over with her in the past, at the many meetings we had. His diaper bag was so full it didn't zip shut, and I had a large case of wipes, diapers and formula just in case he drank all the milk I brought. I braced myself on the ride over there for the heartbreak that was sure to follow. But honestly, it never came. I didn't enjoy leaving Matthew with the sitter, I didn't enjoy shutting that door and walking to my car without him, but I was okay. No tears, no panic attacks, just a long drive to work, and a long day at work, and an even longer drive home from work. I got home and Clayton was expecting me to come bursting in with tears strolling down my face....but I didn't. I kicked off my heels, gave him a kiss, and stole the baby from him for snuggle time.

Fast forward a few weeks to yesterday. The tears still hadn't come yet, and I thought that was strange. I hate working, and being away from Matthew and I miss him terribly, but in order to pay the bills, I have to work. Everyone tells me, oh it will get easier. Umm really? It hasn't been that hard so far, so how can it get any easier? I'm never going to stop missing him, I know I'm missing a ton of smiles and lovely little baby noises, and burps and wet diapers, and spit up, and I'm going to be missing that tomorrow, and 4 months from now and so on....so how can that part get any easier. You never stop missing your baby. But the "heart break" of leaving the baby behind gets easier right? Well I hadn't experienced that heart break ...and I was starting to feel guilty about it....Until yesterday.

9:30 AM, shut my office door and pull out the pump. Gotta get some milk for the boy, and relieve myself before I start dripping in my co-workers coffee. I start pumping, and then it hits me.....all of a sudden....like a brick wall. I start crying...not just a few tears here, I'm talking hysterical, can't breathe, hyperventilating, panic attack crying. For a good 40 minutes this goes on. I'm a horrible Mother. I leave my son every morning with the sitter, that's not fair to him, not fair to me, I'm missing out on so much...but I have to work, we have to pay bills. So I pull out a pen and paper and write down all of our bills. Then go through and see what items aren't necessary. Well that's cable and Internet...we don't eat out, we don't waste our money on anything else. All the other expenses...we have to pay...mortgage, HOA fees, utilities, phone, and our debts.....Well that's it! If I could pay off my car, my loan and the credit cards then I would be able to work part time! Hallelujah it's a miracle. But wait how am I going to pay off all that??? Well the lottery of course. It's no longer a hope, it is a life plan. I AM going to win the lottery, and I AM going to win it soon. So I pull myself together, and leave work. Head to the gas station, fill the car up for the drive home, and fish the 3 dollar bills I have floating in the bottom of my purse out. Time to win me some money.

I buy my 3 scratch off tickets, and run to my car, dig for a penny and scratch...1st ticket - nothing, 2nd ticket- nothing, 3rd ticket...Yes, I matched the first set of numbers, and the second...and oh my god the third. That's it, I won. I must have won at least a few thousand, I mean I matched all three mini games on the card! I frantically scratch off the first prize amount....$1.00....then the second....$1.00....and onto the third. I know this one is the big money wooo hooo here I come part time working Mommyhood!....$1.00.

What the hell!! I had to recount the zero's and check the decimal point. I only won 3 fricken dollars? And then the tears come back, I'm a horrible mother, I miss my son, I hate my job, I hate my 18 year old self for ever getting a credit card, I hate my car because its not paid off, I hate myself.

I pull myself back together as I drive back to work. Fix my face and go back to my office. My boss sees me walk in, and looks at me with one of those "You aren't lookin so good" looks on his face. I made it through the rest of the day, and didn't break down anymore. I have to work, bottom line. At least for the time being. We don't live in the lap of luxury, we work to pay our bills, to keep a roof over our heads, food on the table, and Matthew entertained with a few splurges on toys. Matthew loves me, after all I am his Mommy, and one day he will understand that Mommy goes to work for him. I'm going to try to get my debts paid off sooner then we originally planned, and hopefully Clayton will get the raise he is pulling for here shortly. And maybe then I can work part time. But for now I just have to accept it for what it is....I'm a working Mommy...who finally cried when she dropped her son off with the sitter today. (and still plans on winning the lottery)

Wordless Wednesday

2009-07-29T08:03:00.003-06:00

The Jersey Shore
I'll always be a Jersey Girl....

2009-07-28T10:08:00.001-06:00

I'm missing my boys today....wish I could go home and snuggle them.....only 6 more hours until it's time to leave work!

2009-07-28T07:45:00.002-06:00

Day 1 of Weight Watchers went well. When I'm home, I'm not a big eater. But when I am at work, I get snacky all day. I did well yesterday though, had a yogurt for breakfast and snacked on some fruit in the morning. Lunch is the hardest for me, it's always been a challenge to find easy items for lunch that are healthy. I'm just not the kind of person that can eat a salad everyday, but I did yesterday. I bought some of those 100 calorie pack snacks, that did the trick when I had a sweet craving in the afternoon. I got home and Clayton had made Fettuccine Alfredo for dinner! AHHH soo not on my new diet. But I was hungry, so I ate a very small amount, and had some fruit for a snack. I spent my lunch break online yesterday finding a bunch of recipes. Clayton and I sat down and picked a few to try for the rest of the week, and he's off to food shop today. I think Weight Watchers will go well for him, it's just this first week or adjusting to a different way of eating. With so many other diets as soon as I've stopped the diets, I've gained weight back. I'm hoping it will be different this time around, and that with Weight Watchers it will help me count my calories and eat a more balanced diet, something I can continue doing even when I'm not longer officially on the Weight Watchers Diet.

I really need to exercise more, but I can't seem to find the time. I would love to join a gym, but what am I going to do with Bean? Clayton and I work opposite shifts and during the week see each other for about 1/2 hour when I get home from work. On the weekends I see him from 2:00 - 5:00, so I could go to the gym on the weekends, but I'm having a hard time forking over that much money for 2 hours a week. Hopefully things will get back to normal with his job and he will have 2 nights of the week off again, then I can get to the gym 4 times a week.

I've been trying to do a at home workout almost every night, I have a few cardio video's I've been trying. Bean and I used to go for a nice long walk everyday, but it's been raining almost every evening here, so that hasn't happened in a while.

I'm just sick of being fat! I know I gained too much with this pregnancy, and I was still about 20 pounds over where I wanted to be when I got pregnant. I know it's a long road....but I'll get there!

So if you have a favorite WW recipe or website let me know!!

Happy Tuesday!

2009-07-27T09:15:00.002-06:00

Has anyone done Weight Watchers? I think I'm going to give it a shot. If you have recipes to share, please pass them my way!

TGIF

2009-07-24T09:14:00.002-06:00

Not that long ago my weekends consisted of sleeping in, doing some shopping, going out with Clayton or my friends Friday and Saturday nights. I used to look forward to the weekends so much, always had plans, always had something to do.

Well now I look forward to the weekends even more...even though there will be no sleeping in, no shopping (at least not for myself!), no party time....but my plans consist of something even better. Snuggle time with the Bean! It's hard being away from him at work all week, so I get as much snuggle time as I can in on the weekends. And I have nothing else planned for this weekend, other then some cleaning and laundry. What are you doing this weekend?

Bean is teething, and I feel bad for him. I don't think he is in pain, but there is some discomfort. I bought some teething tablets that you are supposed to put under his tongue to dissolve....yeah that didn't work. How are you supposed to keep them under his tongue?? He kept spitting them out, so I dissolved them in a little water and gave it to him that way. Didn't seem to do much though. I bought him teethers but he doesn't like those either....just Mommy's fingers! Any suggestions?

I gave him some cereal last night, we had tried a few times before but he wouldn't eat it. Last night he made some progress. He gets the funniest face everytime I'd stick that spoon in his mouth. He made the biggest mess and I just laughed the whole time, it was adorable.

In 2 weeks Clayton and I are going out of town for our anniversary, up to Estes Park. It's beautiful up there, love the mountains! We rented a cute little cottage, has a tiny kitchen, and a hot tub! Great hiking nearby and a short drive into town. We stayed up there 2 years ago, and had a blast. I'm really looking forward to it, but not looking forward to leaving Bean. My Mom is going to watch him for us....I've never left him overnight, much less for a whole weekend!

Baby Products

2009-07-23T09:30:00.002-06:00

So what items are a waste of money, and what can't you live without?

As Bean is getting older there are more items I need to buy. I had bought a sling while pregnant, what a waste. Matthew hates it. I need something though! I'm going to have to try a baby carrier or a different type of sling, he doesn't like to be in the cradle position, he likes to be sitting up. Any suggestions?

I bought a bumbo the other day...Bean hasn't decided if he likes that yet. We will try again tonight. It's funny when I sit him on my lap, or on the couch next to me, he holds his head up. I put him in the Bumbo and he refuses to use his neck at all.....what a little stinker that kid is.

I need to get an exersaucer/jumperoo, something along those lines here soon. Suggestions on that????

Welcome!

2009-07-23T06:45:00.000-06:00

Well I figured it was time for me to join the world of blogging. Let me introduct myself, I'm Katie Momma to Matthew (otherwise known as bean). Matthew and I live in Centennial, Colorado with my amazing boyfriend, Clayton. We are adjusting to life as parents, as Matthew was our first, born in April of this year. Matthew's nickname since his first ultrasound has been bean, and boy is he an amazing bean. I never realized just how much joy a child could create. I love my life as a Mommy.

I'm 23 years old, and I'm an office manager for a Development Company. I hate being a working Mom, but we gotta pay the bills.

Hopefully this blogging thing will go well, and at least someone will read this.

For now it's off to wake up the bean and get ready for work.